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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23483458">Back To Us</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/swanthatcan/pseuds/swanthatcan'>swanthatcan</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, M/M, Second Chances, watching the love of your life fall in love with someone else</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-04-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-04-08</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 08:21:41</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,700</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23483458</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/swanthatcan/pseuds/swanthatcan</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Tsukishima has realized his feelings for Yamaguchi, but that may have come too late for him to change the way he's pushed him away. </p>
<p>Unless, that is, the universe were to work in his favor just once.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kageyama Tobio/Yamaguchi Tadashi, Tsukishima Kei/Yamaguchi Tadashi</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>151</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>okay this is my first TsukkiYama fic but i love them so much.. this was going to be a one shot but it developed into so much more so i am gonna split it up to make sure i get the full potential out of it. </p>
<p>enjoy:)</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>From where he stood, he just saw it happen. The ball caught right on the edge of the tip of the net, teetering around for barely enough time for one person to blink, before it fell straight to the ground and landed just out of reach of the players who stumbled over each other to try and get it. Tsukishima watched the ball bounce on the ground as the team behind him erupted into cheer, and the crowd around them was quick to join in. </p>
<p>It had just been a fluke. Yamaguchi still had no control over his serves, and he knew that. Yet, it was still the serve that just won them the game, so of course everyone was all over him. Tsukishima turned his head around finally, watching as the team swallowed Yamaguchi whole as they celebrated. Yamaguchi’s face was lit up in a smile, a deep red blush across his speckled cheeks. </p>
<p>“Tadashii! You did it!” Hinata yelled, practically throwing himself at Yamaguchi. Everyone else on the team praised him one by one. Everyone but Tsukishima, who simply watched from his position by the net, slowly wiping sweat away from his face. He let out a small breath of air as Yamaguchi turned his face towards him, and gave him just a very small smile. </p>
<p>
  <em> Don’t show him how much you care.  </em>
</p>
<p>Tsukishima turned his face away quickly, heading off towards the back of the court to line up. Yamaguchi watched him go, his joy slowly falling apart. For the last few weeks, Tsukki had been avoiding him. Some part of him was hurt deep enough that he couldn’t bring himself to even ask what was wrong with his best friend, and another part of him was just so mad that Tsukki seemed to just turn himself off with no explanation that he couldn’t bring himself to worry over it. </p>
<p>“Tadashi.” Kageyama came up beside him and laid a hand on his back, his face all scrunched up in the way it got when he was trying to figure out how to be nice. Yamaguchi gave him a small smile to encourage whatever he was about to say, but clearly Kageyama had his tongue stuck in his mouth. </p>
<p>Kageyama stepped away instead of saying anything, and Yamaguchi watched him go with a small head tilt. He guessed that Kageyama’s weird back pat had been some sort of praise, and he’d take it. He shook his head around some and quickly made his way towards the back of the court with the rest of the team, trying not to let his thoughts ruin their win. </p>
<p>-- </p>
<p>Yamaguchi stood alone in the locker room, staring at himself in the mirror. His hair was dripping still from the shower he’d taken, and he shook his hair out some before returning to his own reflection. He brought his hand up and touched at the freckles on his face, letting out a small frown. The summer sun had made them stand out even more, and that was on top of his darkening skin tone. Summer was his least favorite time of the year for that reason only; he was so different from most people. He hated the spots on his face, and he always would. </p>
<p>He wondered if Tsukki was ignoring him all of a sudden because of how much his face had changed this summer. Tsukki had seen his face explode for so many summers up to this point though, he found that to just be his own insecurities talking. Tsukki was too aloof to care about something as stupid as the number of freckles on Yamaguchi’s face; he probably hadn’t even noticed the change. </p>
<p>“Oh, just stop thinking about it…” Yamaguchi muttered to himself, grabbing his towel and pressing his face into it with a small huff. </p>
<p>“Hey, Tadashi?” He pulled his face out of his towel and turned to face Kageyama, who was standing at the entrance to the locker rooms with an odd look on his face. It was like he was thinking ridiculously hard about something. </p>
<p>“Kageyama?” He asked, tilting his head again. It was weird for Kageyama to talk so much to him, and he’d only said three words. </p>
<p>“You did really good today. Do you want to walk home together?” Kageyama said the last part fast enough that Yamaguchi had to think for a moment before he totally processed what was just said to him. </p>
<p>“You… want to walk home… with me?” Yamaguchi asked, before his face sort of started to flare up in a blush. He wasn’t sure if this was some prank Kageyama was pulling on him, or some fever dream from the rush of the win, but it did not feel real. </p>
<p>“Yes. I- I want to walk home with you. We can practice your serves, together, if you want.” Kageyama glanced up at him then, and Yamaguchi saw there was a redness to his face that matched his own. Kageyama was being sincere here, and asking him to hang out. </p>
<p>He paused for a moment and let his head fall to the side as he debated. Tsukki would probably be waiting for him, and they’d walk home in silence like they had for the last month. This might actually be a good change, something new and exciting. He couldn’t really find any serious cons. Tsukki might be mad, but, whatever. He <em> deserved </em> to be mad. </p>
<p>“Sure.” He gave Kageyama a quick nod before tossing his towel in the bin and grabbing his bag. Kageyama gave him a bit of a grin, and it was interesting to see such a look on his normally stoic teammate’s face. He liked it though, because Kageyama was actually pretty handsome when he smiled. </p>
<p>The two of them left the gym together, and Kageyama started to talk about his own form when he served. Yamaguchi took it all in, holding his bag tightly and watching Kageyama speak. Any bit of advice he could get, he would take. Especially from such a dedicated player like Kageyama; he wanted to improve himself more and more so he could join their ranks. They left the school without so much as glancing back, dedicated entirely to each other. </p>
<p>--</p>
<p>Tsukishima gripped his fists tightly as he watched Yamaguchi walk out of the locker room, following behind Kageyama like some sort of puppy. He could feel his fingers digging deeply into his skin, and his face started to heat up in the worst way possible. It was one of those heats you couldn’t control as your body became angry, and embarrassed. He felt more hot than he did the whole game before this. </p>
<p>“Oh wow, Kageyama is walking home with Tadashii. Took him long enough, huh?” He turned his head to see Sugawara and Asahi stepping out of the gym, neither of them noticing him as they watched Yamaguchi and Kageyama leaving. </p>
<p>“Kageyama was stalking him around for like, the last four practices. He must have really been nervous. Kinda cute, huh?” Asahi responded to Sugawara as they made their way to the exit as well. </p>
<p>“It’s like I’m watching my own child grow up. I can probably die happy now.” Sugawara said, and Asahi let out a snort before turning the conversation to something else. Tsukishima stood just as still as he’d been before, but now he could feel his whole body starting to shake. </p>
<p>What the hell did they mean, stalking Yamaguchi around? And he finally did what? He grit his teeth together in frustration, trying to cool his head and think through this in any way possible.</p>
<p>He’d avoided his feelings for Yamaguchi for a long time now. He could pinpoint the very second he’d realized that he liked Yamaguchi more than just a friend, and that was way back in middle school. Yamaguchi had always been there for him. He’d been Tsukishima’s first friend. He <em> was </em> Tsukishima’s first love. </p>
<p>He had refused to accept his feelings out of a fear of being hurt. There was no way that Yamaguchi felt the same way about him. He knew for a fact that if Yamaguchi had ever had feelings for him, he would have already found out. Yamaguchi wasn’t ever someone who kept anything from Tsukishima; he knew everything about Yamaguchi. If he told Yamaguchi how he felt, and he ruined their friendship, he’d have nothing.</p>
<p>“Dammit.” He kicked his foot into the ground in frustration, starting to walk to hope that the walk would make him think less about his current situation. Of course, it only made him think more. Yamaguchi was always right behind him normally, and Yamaguchi would always try to fill the silence by talking. Talking about everything and anything, from what he planned to eat for dinner that day to what homework they had.</p>
<p>Tsukishima had always found it relaxing. Yamaguchi going on about the things that really didn’t matter took him away from the stress of the day. He was left without that all now, walking in silence. He pulled his headphones up and on, hoping that he could block out his thoughts with music, but he was his own destructor there. Every song that started to play started to remind him of Yamaguchi. He cursed his own terrible taste in music, and he cursed the fact his ridiculously in love brain had made some sort of connection to Yamaguchi in every song. </p>
<p>This was only one evening. He could make it through a single walk home without Yamaguchi. Things would go back to normal tomorrow; and he’d talk back to Yamaguchi. He’d stop shutting himself up so in some hope that being quiet would stop is feelings from growing. Tomorrow, he’d give Yamaguchi the attention he deserved. </p>
<p>There was no way in hell he was going to let Kageyama win this. </p>
<p>-- </p>
<p>“Good morning, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi’s voice pulled him out of his slump, and he lifted his head off of his desk to look up at him. Yamaguchi gave him a small smile as he took the seat beside him, swinging his legs around and looking very happy. </p>
<p>“Morning… You’re in a good mood.” Tsukishima pulled himself up the whole way, stretching some and trying to act as normal as he could. </p>
<p>“Am I? I feel pretty normal, I guess.” Yamaguchi shrugged his shoulders and gave Tsukishima a soft smile. There was a radiant energy coming off of him, like he was just floating away on cloud nine. Tsukishima hated it. </p>
<p>“I didn’t see you after the practice game yesterday.” Tsukishima turned his attention to his books, laying them out and getting what he’d need for the day onto his desk. He couldn’t bring himself to look at Yamaguchi, knowing the reason he was probably so happy was <em> Kageyama </em>. </p>
<p>“Oh- I’m sorry Tsukki! I forgot to tell you- I walked home with Kageyama. He was telling me stuff about serving… It was actually really nice of him. I had fun.” Yamaguchi smiled as he thought about the night before, and Tsukishima struggled to not snap his pencil in half. </p>
<p>“A night with Kageyama- I can’t imagine that was actually any fun at all,” Tsukishima muttered, “But to each their own, I suppose.” </p>
<p>“Oh. Yeah…” Yamaguchi sort of pushed his fingers together nervously, not sure if he’d done something to make Tsukki mad; but the day was about to start, so he made his way to his desk instead of asking. He had every right to hang out with Kageyama, especially after the way Tsukki had been acting around him. </p>
<p>Tsukishima regretted everything he’d just spoken, but he knew there was no taking it back now. His overwhelming jealousy had done the worst to him, and now he was just pushing Yamaguchi further away from him. He lowered his head down some and shook away the thought, trying to shift his concentration to his work. </p>
<p>There was nothing much he could have done to stop what happened after that. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>He had already done the damage to the relationship he had built up with Yamaguchi, and Yamaguchi had moved on from him. He started to walk home with Kageyama more and more, to the point that Tsukishima stopped waiting for him after school or practice. Kageyama had taken Yamaguchi’s full attention. </p>
<p>Tsukishima tried to ignore them and go about his life, but without his best friend it all felt so meaningless. He went along with the flow, never caring about what actually happened next. It was as if he had his soul stripped out of his body. </p>
<p>It was about a month after his last real conversation with Yamaguchi that he found himself facing the overwhelming reality of what he’d done. It was after practice, and he’d stuck around with Coach to talk about a strategy that they were working on together. When he finally found himself leaving, his ears caught onto a fit of laughter from around the back of the school. </p>
<p>He was never the most nosy of people, but he knew that laugh. That was Yamaguchi’s laugh. Perhaps he could sneak in and get to walk with him, even if it was just one more time. Something more could surely happen if he just took the shot. His feet moved before he had even come to the full decision, and he made his way towards the sound of Yamaguchi’s laughter. </p>
<p>As he rounded the corner, his brain sort of stopped working. Pressed back against the wall of the school, his arms wrapped up around Kageyama, was Yamaguchi. The two of them were leaning into each other and their lips were locked together in a kiss, both of them broke out into a ridiculous smile. Kageyama had his hand on Yamaguchi’s cheek, and he was softly brushing his finger across the mess of freckles. The freckles that had <em> always </em>been Tsukishima’s favorite part of Yamaguchi’s face, were now owned by Kageyama. </p>
<p>His breath caught in his throat as his heart shattered. The thing he had been trying to avoid, that moment of heartbreak when Yamaguchi wasn’t his at all, had suddenly happened. No matter what he had ever tried to do, he could never be the right person for Yamaguchi. He had been pathetic to ever think that Yamaguchi could want to be with him, when there were much kinder people in the world.</p>
<p>Of course, he never thought that he would lose out to Kageyama of all people, but karma was more often than not described as a bitch. </p>
<p>He turned away and hurried off, the two lovebirds never even noticing that he was ever there. </p>
<p>--</p>
<p>“I know I can swing higher than you.” Yamaguchi laughed as he kicked his feet out into the air. The ground below him disappeared and the sky above opened up as he swung himself up. Kageyama made a grunt beside him, using his feet to propel himself as he reached the ground. Even with his push, he still didn’t make it as far as Yamaguchi did, and made a sort of angry grunt as he draped his body back dramatically over the swing. </p>
<p>“You’re smaller than me- more aerodynamic.” Kageyama said, letting his head brush against the ground as his swing started to slow down. Yamaguchi let out a sort of snort as he let his feet down to slow himself down as well. </p>
<p>“Actually, when we were little, Tsukki taught me how to get higher than anyone else on the playground. It was like a weird little victory. He is so smart, so he just knows those sorts of things.” Yamaguchi replied, leaning his head against the chain of the swing. </p>
<p>It had been awhile since he thought about Tsukishima. His brain had been so dedicated to Kageyama these last few months that his once best friend had drifted to the very back of his head. They hadn’t done anything together in such a long time that it felt like they weren’t even friends anymore. Some part of him was wondering just how Tsukishima was doing, but in the end he shook his head and let Tsukishima drift back to just being a memory. </p>
<p>“I think you’re pretty smart yourself. Being taught something doesn’t mean you’ll always figure it out, y’know?” Kageyama looked up at him with one of his small, sweet smiles. Yamaguchi felt his cheeks light up in a blush, and he kicked some of the mulch on the ground up and towards Kageyama for making him so flustered. </p>
<p>“Hey- I’m just saying!” Kageyama laughed, clearly taking the mulch as a declaration of war and using it to throw himself over and onto Yamaguchi to wrestle. </p>
<p>Yamaguchi yelped as he was thrown off of the swing by Kageyama, hitting the ground and staring up at the sky as Kageyama moved over to get on top of him. He prepared himself to romp, but for a brief moment, his eyes were locked up on the sky. The moon was starting to peek out from behind the clouds, shining down onto the two of them. </p>
<p>Tsukki always loved the night sky. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p>“Do you know much about the constellations?” Tsukishima asked him. The two of them were laying on a grassy hill, their heads beside each other as they looked up into the night sky. Yamaguchi had forced him up there after they’d been at a middle school volleyball practice, wanting to watch for shooting stars.</p>
<p>“Uhm… Probably not as much as you do. Science class kinda makes me sleepy.” Yamaguchi replied to him, sort of turning his head to look at Tsukki, who had his eyes locked up on the night sky. There was a brightness in his eyes that was shining intensely, and his face was concentrated to the highest of levels. </p>
<p>“Look, you can see a few right now. It’s sort of cloudy- here.” Tsukki grabbed at Yamaguchi’s hand and pointed it up at the sky, using it to point out a cluster of stars in the sky. He started to go off about what they were, and what they meant, but Yamaguchi was more locked on his mouth moving and the excitement in his voice as he spoke. It was so odd to see Tsukki so excited about anything, but every part of Yamaguchi loved it. </p>
<p>He wanted to be the reason that Tsukki looked like that. He wanted to be the reason that Tsukki turned his attitude from dull to excited. He wasn’t sure where all of these feelings were coming from, but he finally turned his head up to the sky to watch Tsukki move his hand around. The feeling of their hands together sparked another nerve in him, and he smiled some at the feeling. </p>
<p>He really did like being around Tsukki. </p>
<p>
  <span>“Hey, Tsukki? Do you think we’ll be together forever?” Yamaguchi asked, knowing that it was a childish question and that Tsukki would probably give him a cool, calculated answer in response- but he wanted to know. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>There was a long draw of silence as Tsukki seemed to actually think about his answer. He let go of Yamaguchi’s hand, laying his own on against his chest and taking a weird breath in. Yamaguchi opened his mouth up to take back his question, but Tsukki turned to look at him then. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Nothing lasts forever. Even the brightest star burns out, eventually.” He said, and Yamaguchi almost felt himself flinch. He didn’t expect that sort of answer, and he had to bite at his lip to not cry. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“Oh, I guess you’re right.” He pushed out, turning his face back up to the sky so Tsukki wouldn’t see him cry. He could feel Tsukki still staring at him, but he refused to turn his eyes back and look at him. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“We’re not stars, though.” Tsukki continued, much to Yamaguchi’s surprise, “So I don’t know the answer to your question. I…” he cleared his throat some and returned his face to the sky. </span>
</p>
<p>
  <span>“I would like to be with you forever.” </span>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Chapter 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Tsukishima spiked the ball into the ground with all of the force he could muster, breathing hard as it smacked into the ground and rolled away. The other side of the court was empty, other than the mess of volleyballs he had been practicing smash into the ground. He straightened up and pushed his glasses up so he could wipe the sweat away. </p>
<p>“Jeez, skinny, I don’t think I’ve ever seen you put this much effort into practice.” Kuroo said, spinning a ball around in his hands and raising his eyebrows up. </p>
<p>“I know when Akaashi ignores me, I put more attention into my practice. Is there someone on your mind, Tsukki?” Bokuto asked, peeking his head out from behind Kuroo and wiggling his shoulders around suggestively.</p>
<p>The nickname itself struck a chord and Tsukishima gave both of them a harsh glare before spitting out, “Nobody is on my mind. That’s absolutely ridiculous.” He snagged a towel off of the ground and rubbed his face harshly into it, pissed off all that it took for the morons to figure out something was wrong with him. </p>
<p>“Every hit you’ve made has been off. You’re not focused one bit.” Akaashi said then, drumming a ball into the ground and staring Tsukishima down, “In the practice games today, I saw it too. You’re unfocused. If I was talking to anyone else, I wouldn’t even have a second thought; but you never take your eyes off the ball.” His eyes were hyper focused on Tsukishima, and both Kuroo and Bokuto put their lips together at the callout.  </p>
<p>“What do you know? I’m not going to stand here and let you try and tell me something is wrong with me.” Tsukishima snapped at them as he grabbed for his things and went to leave the practice gym in a huff.</p>
<p>“It’s that little freckled mess, isn’t it?” Kuroo said then, and Tsukishima stopped dead in his tracks. His heart started to pound in his chest. He couldn’t quite put together how they could have possibly figured something like that out. He’d done everything in his power not to make it obvious that he was falling apart over Yamaguchi. </p>
<p>He turned around to look at the three, who were all staring back at him with a mix of expressions. They all knew, and he opened his mouth to ask just how they possibly could, but no noise could come out. All of his emotions were reaching their boiling point, and he hadn’t had feelings like this since he was a kid. He didn’t know what to do. </p>
<p>“You two normally are always together, but the last few days you two haven’t so much as glanced in each other’s direction. He’s hanging off Kageyama more than that shorty Hinata is,” Kuroo said, tilting his head to the side slowly, “I get the feeling Kageyama stole your pet away, and now you’re not so sure what to do with yourself without him.” </p>
<p>“Tadashi is not a pet-” Tsukishima spit out, but he realized he’d only dug his hole deeper by admitting Kuroo’s theory was right. He gripped his fist and turned his head away from all of them right away, breathing hard through his nose in pure annoyance. </p>
<p>“Oho, I was right!” Kuroo pumped his fist back in excitement, and a huffing Bokuto handed him a handful of cash. Akaashi ignored both of them and he made his way over to Tsukishima and laid a hand on his shoulder with a small frown. </p>
<p>“Listen, Tsukishima… I get the feeling you’re not someone who actively expresses his emotions. If you maybe just… talk to Yamaguchi, maybe something can come out of it. Bottling things up never helps; trust me, I deal with that idiot every day of my life.” He nodded his head back to Bokuto, who let out a ‘hey!’ at the bit of an insult.</p>
<p>“Whatever.” Tsukishima moved his shoulder away from the hand and he quickly made his way out of the gym before anyone could say anything else to him. He wasn’t looking to get lectured by a bunch of morons about his feelings. In fact, more than anything, he was pissed off that they had somehow picked up on how it was affecting him. </p>
<p>He slowed down as he got closer to the dorm area, knowing very well that if Bokuto and Kuroo of all people had picked up on his lack of performance, then it was only a matter of time before Daichi, or worse, Sugawara, picked up on it. He grit his teeth before shaking his head and making his way inside, deciding he’d get a nice night of rest and have his head on his shoulders the next day. </p>
<p>He’d be able to get through this. This was just a crush, and he’d move on from it, like every person in the world. Yamaguchi could be happy without him, he had no right to try and monopolize his feelings. </p>
<p>That didn’t mean that he didn’t miss Yamaguchi. He missed him so much. There was suddenly this light in his life that was ripped away from him; like the moon was still in the sky, but the stars around it were all gone. He just wanted one more chance to fix this shit, but he’d dug his grave already. </p>
<p>To make matters worse, as he made his way up the stairs, he found himself approaching both Kageyama and Yamaguchi. The two of them saw him and quickly their hands that were once together pulled apart, but their shoulders were still brushed annoyingly together. Tsukishima felt his lip twitch in annoyance, but he pushed past the two of them without a word, attempting to keep his eyes ahead on the hallway in front of him.</p>
<p>So much for that sleep he had hoped for. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p>The ball ricocheted off his hand and collided with the ground by his feet with a loud thump, that was quickly accompanied by the cheer of the team across from him and the groans of his teammates behind him. Tsukishima’s breath was caught up in his chest as he tried his hardest to not totally fall apart. He couldn’t count the number of blocks he’d fucked up in just this game alone. </p>
<p>“It’s okay, Tsukishima, you’ll get the next one.” Sugawara called out to him, but he was the only one. The rest of the team was clearly getting tired of the constant amount of mistakes that he was making. </p>
<p>The next volley started and once again, the other team aimed for him, knowing he was on the end of his rope. Like that, it was smashed down below him, and the practice match came to an end. He heard footsteps moving his way and Kageyama grabbed him by the arm with a harsh scowl on his face.</p>
<p>“What the hell is going on with you, Tsukishima? You’re fucking things up for everyone- get your head in the game!” He yelled at Tsukishima, shaking him around some. Of all the people to yell at him though, Kageyama was the last possible person that Tsukishima could possibly handle. </p>
<p>He spun his whole body around in a rage and rammed his fist harshly into Kageyama’s face with no hesitation. Pretty much everyone in the whole gym stopped to watch, clearly shocked by the sudden outburst that the normally stoic Tsukishima had started. He didn’t stop when all the eyes turned on him; in fact, it might have pushed him to hit Kageyama harder. The two of them fell to the ground as Kageyama attempted to protect himself from the punches that Tsukishima was throwing. </p>
<p>“Tsukishima! Stop!” Daichi ended up grabbing onto Tsukishima and lifting him up to pull him away from Kageyama, but Tsukishima was still throwing punches wildly in the air. He could feel how red his face was, but he didn’t care. He just wanted to pummel Kageyama into the ground. </p>
<p>Of course, Kageyama wasn’t one to ever lay down. He pulled himself up with blood dripping down his face and he threw himself right at the now easily exposed Tsukishima, decking him in the stomach before trying to rip him away from Daichi to exact revenge on him. Both of them managed to get his hands into the other’s hair and were pulling and yanking as hard as they could on each other. </p>
<p>“Stop it! What are you two doing!” Tanaka made his way over to the fight and grabbed at Kageyama, yanking him away and pushing him down to the ground. Ukai made his way over to them and yanked Tsukishima away from the court, throwing him into a back room as he went back to get Kageyama as well. </p>
<p>Tsukishima sat on the ground in the storage closet, his breath catching in his throat as he felt himself on the edge of a total breakdown. Tears started to stream down his face, and he felt blood mix with the tears as his nose began to bleed. He yanked his glasses off of his head and chucked them across the room in a fit, blood dripping down onto the ground mixed with his fast flowing tears. </p>
<p>The door in front of him slid open, and he looked up. Ukai tore into him like no tomorrow before sending him away to head to the dorms and get himself patched up and ready to leave; both he and Kageyama were going to go home. Deep down, he didn’t care. He was beyond fine with going away from this whole mess. Away from Kageyama, and away from Yamaguchi. </p>
<p>He found his way to one of the bathrooms and washed his face as quickly as he could, flinching as the blood just continued to fall. He looked up at himself in the mirror and glared at himself, touching at a cut by his bruising eye. He had nothing compared to Kageyama at least, and there was some sort of pride from that. </p>
<p>“Tsukki?” He spun his head around to find Yamaguchi standing behind him, clutching a first aid kit in his hands and looking nervous as could be. Tsukishima couldn’t believe that Yamaguchi had come into the bathroom with him over Kageyama, and he blinked in confusion. Words still weren’t forming. </p>
<p>“I saw you were crying when you left the gym- I-” Yamaguchi gripped his arms tighter around the first aid kit, “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you cry before, and I was worried. And nobody else wanted to deal with you, honestly…” He shifted around nervously on his feet before patting at the bench, hoping Tsukishima would sit and let him help. </p>
<p>There was a long pause as Tsukishima stared at him, blood still dripping down his face from his obviously broken nose. He gave in though, and made his way over towards Yamaguchi, sitting down on the bench. He kept his eyes focused on the wood, never up on Yamaguchi. Even when his hands reached up and touched at his face to dab at the blood, Tsukishima forced them down. </p>
<p>“Why did you hit Kageyama?” Yamaguchi eventually asked him, splitting the silence apart in that way that Tsukishima loved. He couldn’t bring himself to respond, but that seemed like it was more than enough for Yamaguchi to get the answer. </p>
<p>“I had always loved you, Tsukki.” Yamaguchi dropped his hands down then, and Tsukishima finally looked up into his eyes, in pure shock. Yamaguchi gave him the saddest of smiles before quickly averting his gaze to the first aid kit, digging around like he was looking for something. </p>
<p>“Since we were kids, you were my whole world… You made me happy, and I just sort of liked being around you. Then you started to change, and you stopped wanting to be around <em> me, </em>so I gave up. I let myself move on from you.” Yamaguchi gripped at the gauze from inside of the kit, and he took a shuddering breath in. </p>
<p>“Tadashi-” He attempted to speak, but he couldn’t find any of the words that he needed to say at that moment. His tongue felt like it was glued to the inside of his mouth, and no matter what he tried he couldn’t get anything out. </p>
<p>“I got tired of begging you to stay.” Yamaguchi struggled out, his eyes full of tears. Tsukishima took a deep breath in as he was taken back by that statement. The mistakes he’d made were so long back now, he was buried six feet under the ground. Yamaguchi had moved on. </p>
<p>There was no going back to the way they were. </p>
<p>Yamaguchi reached up then and finished patching up the parts of Tsukishima’s face that he possibly could. They were in another dead silence then, as Tsukishima sat in shock and Yamaguchi held back his floodgates. As he finished, Yamaguchi let his hands linger for one second on Tsukishima’s face. </p>
<p>“I hope you can move on too. Please don’t hurt Kageyama anymore. I love him.” Yamaguchi pulled his hands away then, and the feeling of them there lingered like sharp needles against the side of his face. He couldn’t say anything as Yamaguchi gathered himself and quickly left the bathroom. </p>
<p>“Ah.” Tsukishima touched the burning points on his face, realizing more and more with each passing second how much he had royally ruined everything he had with Yamaguchi. This was the way that things were going to be now, and there was nothing that he could do to reverse that. </p>
<p>He hadn’t even been able to speak to Yamaguchi. He’d let every chance that he had slip right through his fingers like some fool. Everyone else was happy now, because they had made the right choices. They’d gripped those strings when they had the chance and they never let them go. All the while, he turned his face away as his own was taken right from him. </p>
<p>How ungodly selfish of him. He couldn’t find any reason that he had any right to make Yamaguchi, the one person who had ever made him feel anything, hurt. He felt his body go numb as he fell back into the bench behind him, staring up at the ceiling. New tears started to fall down his face, and he did nothing to stop them this time. </p>
<p>-- </p>
<p>“Tadashi.” Tsukishima held his hand out to his friend, who was sitting in a pile of mud on the ground, gripping his bag and sniffling. Yamaguchi looked up at him with his eyes full of tears that he was obviously trying so hard to hold back. He reached his hand out after a second and took Tsukishima’s hand, letting the taller pull him up and out of the slop he’d been shoved into. </p>
<p>“Why didn’t you wait for me? You know those idiots target you.” Tsukishima pulled his hoodie off then, wiggling himself free of it before pushing it into Yamaguchi’s hands with a huff. </p>
<p>“You always walk me home. I didn’t want to bother you again…” Yamaguchi muttered, taking the hoodie and throwing it over himself to hide the mess on his back. Tsukishima shook his head around, reaching behind Yamaguchi to get some of the mud out of his hair. </p>
<p>“It’s no bother. You don’t live that far from me, anyway. I don’t enjoy giving those morons the satisfaction of bullying you. Just wait for me, alright?” He flicked his hand clean and then started to walk ahead. Yamaguchi’s face got red, but he nodded his head at Tsukishima’s back before hurrying after him to follow him home. </p>
<p> </p>
<p>Yamaguchi gripped his fingers into the old hoodie, turning it around in his hands slowly. He’d never given the hoodie back to Tsukki after that day. Some part of him wanted to keep it as a part of Tsukki that was totally his. He’d never been asked to give it back either, and some pathetic part of him thought that maybe Tsukki wanted him to keep it too. </p>
<p>“You were really hopeful back then, weren’t you?” He muttered bitterly, laying the hoodie onto his bed and then slowly folding it up. He had to let go of this, of the past. Things were never going to change with Tsukki. He was happy now, he was happy with Kageyama. </p>
<p>Right?</p>
<p>He stopped his folding, his hands starting to shake in the worst way possible. He knew deep down that he was just using Kageyama as some sort of crutch, as a way to support himself so he didn’t have to directly face the way he felt for Tsukki anymore. Even if he’d gotten the courage to tell Tsukki he’d moved on, he knew that he really hadn’t. He was simply hiding behind a wall, and that wall was Kageyama. </p>
<p>He forced himself to fold up the hoodie the rest of the way, despite the flowing of tears down his face. He’d put that wall up to move on from Tsukki, not cling to him. There was no way that they were going back to the past now, no matter how much he wanted that. He had to just move on. </p>
<p>He grabbed a box from under his bed and shoved the hoodie inside of it, kicking it under after he put the lid on. </p>
<p>“That’s it, Tadashi. All of your feelings are in that box and you’re never opening it again. It’s over. He ruined it. It isn’t your fault. It isn’t your fault.” Despite what he was saying to himself, his legs gave way under him and he fell to the ground sobbing. </p>
<p>There was no way they’d ever go back to them. No matter how much he wanted it, they were over now. He let his head hit the ground and decided to let it all out now and then never look back. Even if he begged for one more chance now, it wasn’t ever going to happen. </p>
<p>Just one more chance. </p>
<p>
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<p>“You know, I think I could probably draw a constellation on your freckles.” Tsukishima leaned close to Yamaguchi’s face, spinning his marker around and inspecting them closely. Yamaguchi let out a startled noise and clasped his hands over his cheeks, trying to hide the freckles from Tsukishima. </p>
<p>“Tsukki- you know I hate them- please don’t draw on my face!” Yamaguchi pushed out, holding his hands tighter against his cheeks. Tsukishima rolled his eyes and pushed at Yamaguchi’s arms to try and get them away from his face. </p>
<p>“I don’t see why you hate them. They make you different from everyone else. I like them, honestly. It’s like I have a whole galaxy just on your face.” He took the moment that Yamaguchi was in a blushed shock to lean in and draw a little constellation right across some of the freckles on his face. </p>
<p>Yamaguchi let out another sputtery noise and he quickly turned his face to his mirror to look at it, tilting his head to get a closer look at it. </p>
<p>“Oh- it’s smaller than I thought…” he ran his finger across his cheek before turning back to Tsukishima. </p>
<p>“It’s Apus. The Bird of Paradise.” Tsukishima said, capping his marker back up and putting it away, “It was the first one I saw when I was studying your cheeks. Plus, you were all upset, so I didn’t want to draw anything big.” He shrugged his shoulders and gave Yamaguchi a very small smile. </p>
<p>“Apus.” Tsukishima reached his fingers up to the sky, tracing out the constellation in the darkness. He knew that he hadn’t searched for that constellation in the sky for years, but now it felt like it was the only thing that he could see above him. </p>
<p>He’d do anything to return to that moment with Yamaguchi. The memory was clear in his head, and for what felt like the first time in months, he cracked a smile towards the sky. He let his hand fall back down beside him as he closed his eyes and wished for just one more chance. </p>
<p>--</p>
<p>“Tadashi! You did it!” The shrill ringing of Hinata’s voice grounded him, and Tsukishima turned his face back to the back of the court, where the rest of their team were jumping around Yamaguchi like crazy. He blinked a few times and glanced at the ball rolling away on the other side of the court, and the angry team they had a practice match with scowling at the celebration going on. </p>
<p>His heart started to thunder in his chest and he quickly dug his nails into his arm, wanting to force himself awake if this was some dream. Despite his attempt, he was still standing there on the volleyball court, back to the day he’d hidden his feelings for probably the last time. He saw movement beside him, and watched as Kageyama started to make his way towards Yamaguchi. </p>
<p>His feet moved faster than he thought ever imaginable, and he pushed himself through the rest of the team until he was right there with Yamaguchi, staring at him, their faces barely inches apart. Yamaguchi’s face turned to a shade of red as he glanced up at Tsukishima.</p>
<p>“Tsukki? Are you alright?” He asked, but before he could sputter out anything else, Tsukishima pressed his lips right against Yamaguchi’s, yanking him close by the front of his shirt. It was clumsy, and his glasses were smashed back against his nose, but he didn’t care. He wasn’t about to ruin this all over again. </p>
<p>Yamaguchi’s hands flew up into the air defensively, and everyone on the team made a collective gasp that slowly turned into a mess of ‘oh my god finally’ and ‘okay guys, get a room,’ among many other things. Tsukishima let Yamaguchi go, breathing hard through his nose as he took a step back.</p>
<p>“Great serve.” Tsukishima gave him a quick nod before stalking away, his face more red than he’d ever expected it to feel. Yamaguchi was left standing with his hands thrown up in the air, staring at the place that Tsukishima just was. </p>
<p>--</p>
<p>“Tsukki?” </p>
<p>Tsukishima was in their normal meeting place, his hands shoved into the pockets of his jacket and his headphones halfway over his ears. He turned to Yamaguchi as he came out of the locker room. </p>
<p>“Hey. Ready to go home?” Tsukishima asked him, trying to keep his cool. He didn’t want to force himself on Yamaguchi now. He honestly was still reeling from the kiss himself, but he tried his hardest to keep his head on his shoulders. </p>
<p>“You kissed me.” Yamaguchi said, totally derailing his plans in three words. He took a deep breath in to ground himself; he wasn’t going to run away this time, no matter what happened. Yamaguchi deserved to know his feelings. He wanted Yamaguchi to know his feelings. He couldn’t lose him again. </p>
<p>“I kissed you.” He bowed his head down quickly, unable to meet Yamaguchi’s eyes anymore, “I kissed you because I like you. I’m sorry I have been acting strange, and- and probably hurting you. I’m not going to make you wait anymore, Yamaguchi. I love you.” </p>
<p>It wasn’t exactly what he was hoping to say, or anywhere near as graceful as he had wanted, but he had at least said it. There was a long moment of silence before Yamaguchi stepped up to him and grabbed at his face, this time being the one to yank him down into a kiss. His hands melted softly against Tsukishima’s face, not like the sharpness he had felt before. They were meant to be there like this. </p>
<p>He swallowed back any pride he had and let Yamaguchi control the kiss, but he did softly reach and grab his hips in what he considered to be a pretty bold move for what was their second kiss. He was tired of holding back though. He just wanted Yamaguchi to be all his. He wanted the two of them to be closer than they’d ever been. </p>
<p>“I love you. Oh wow. Did you really say that? Did I really say that? I’m sorry Tsukki-” Yamaguchi babbled out, but Tsukishima cut him off before he could say anything else with another kiss. He was greedy now. However many kisses Kageyama might have given Yamaguchi, he wanted to outweigh tenfold. He’d been given a second chance, and he wasn’t going to let it go to waste. </p>
<p>“It’s getting late, you two.” They both flew apart when Sugawara’s voice came from their side, scaring them both. Asahi and Sugawara were watching them with small smirks on their knowing faces, and both Yamaguchi and Tsukishima apologized before hurrying off together. Tsukishima reached his hand back and grabbed at Yamaguchi’s hand to pull him along faster.  </p>
<p>“Took them long enough, huh? I thought Kageyama was going to sweep in and steal Yamaguchi the way things were going.” Asahi said, waiting for Sugawara to lock up the gym before they left themselves. </p>
<p>“Looks like Tsukishima figured that out too. Lucky him, huh?” Sugawara said, shaking his head around some, “First years are always ridiculous.” </p>
<p> </p>
<p>--</p>
<p>“Tsukki, you’re too fast for me!” Yamaguchi laughed, stumbling over his own feet as he fell into Tsukishima’s back. They came to a stop, their hands still clenched together. The street lamps above them all flickered on as the darkness started to creep across the town. Tsukishima glanced at Yamaguchi as he caught his breath, and he let out a chuckle of his own. </p>
<p>“Sorry- are you alright?” He reached his hand over and softly brushed back some of Yamaguchi’s hair, just wanting to touch every part of him now. Yamaguchi lit up again, turning his eyes away as he gave a nod to that question. </p>
<p>They stood like that for a moment, both of them catching their breath and just catching up on the whole situation. Yamaguchi took a step closer to Tsukishima and gripped at his hand even tighter. </p>
<p>“Do you want to… come to my place and watch the stars? It’s a pretty clear night. We haven’t done that in a long while, and I want… I want to watch the stars with you.” Tsukishima muttered, and as Yamaguchi’s face split into a big smile, he knew that they were in exactly the right place. </p>
<p>They were back to them. </p>
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